Hmmmm ... again I'm surprised at the words spoken to me of my "perfect" life. In one sense, I am thankful and pleased because I believe strongly that God has called me to "think about things that are true, noble, beautiful" etc. etc. I try to live that way. It helps me. My personality is such that it would be very, very easy for me to get bogged down into the mire of my own inadequacies (not to mention everyone else's). So when someone suggests that my life is "perfect," I look around in thanksgiving and agree -- to a certain extent.
Of course, my life isn't really "perfect" -- nor am I. I have sin that I struggle with just like everyone else. I have anxieties and fears that sometimes ruin a perfectly good day -- or year. I have people in my life whom I love that hurt me deeply -- and on a regular basis. I have doubts. I have insecurities. I have days when I really shouldn't be homeschooling because my words, my attitudes, my emotions get in the way of any real teaching -- aside from "avoid mom". I have moments when I am not a kind wife, or mother, or daughter, or friend.
My life may look "perfect" -- and, yes, in sooooooooooooo many ways I am blessed by this generous and merciful and gracious God of mine. But I'm not "perfect". And quite frankly, I often don't deserve this "perfect" life of mine. Do any of us?
In the end, I choose JOY. I've tried it the other way. It stinks. I may risk offending you by this choice. Oh well. Don't you find that you can offend people just by breathing and living at times? I guess I care less and less about that, and more and more about living out my life in a way that is pleasing to my God.
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