Balance Part II -- The Road Less Traveled

The past two weeks have been ones of "finishings". Isabelle and Isaac completed their respective math curriculums for the year, Isaac completed his science text on Astronomy and completed his final project (a model of the space station), and Josiah finished his Biology text. We said one final goodbye to friends and coaches in Speech/Debate and had our final Science Club of the year this week. Next week will include our final piano lesson with our school year teacher as well as our final meeting for Aspire -- our homeschool co-op. The school year is winding down and summer activities are winding up! : ) Meanwhile, the lines in my hands are permanently stained with soil as I am spending the evenings out in my gardens making up for the week and a half of cold, wet weather we've been having. This time of year is delightful!

I need to gather my thoughts on "balance" to finish this post as well. It's an interesting subject isn't it -- and one that we often like to avoid because of the convictions it induces. I think it's important to realize that this sense of balance is going to look different for everyone. Being critical never leads to joy and so once again I remind you -- when I write, it isn't to preach at you but instead to share what God is teaching ME.

When I think about living in balance, I think of the road less traveled. Our society and culture are CRAZED in so many senses of the word. It's crazy to watch and even crazier if you happen to find yourself on the "merry go round" of DOING IT ALL. I like to imagine it being a merry go round because, in reality -- does doing it all really lead you anywhere?? It might lead you to a higher level merry go round, but then the horses are just taller and, even though you can perhaps see farther, it also means that you have farther to fall when you eventually come down. I have regular moments in my year when I live on a merry go round of activities, commitments, and busy-ness. Quite often, it is a fun ride. Sometimes it goes very fast. But always ... literally always, I grow weary of it not stopping and I long to get off.

This is how I find balance. I purposely STEP OFF the merry go round. I begin to gently remember that I can say "no". I see and remember and long for the STILLNESS that is needed so that I can hear clearly God's leading.

It is only in this BEING STILL that I am able to truly remember and focus on my goals, my mission, and my calling as a wife, as a mother, as a homeschooling parent, as a friend, as a daughter and sister, and as a woman of God. Living in this stillness (or at least revisiting it on a regular basis) is the road less traveled.

More and more I find that I am on this road in regard to setting boundaries for myself and my family. Just last week I had to say "no, I will not be participating" in a situation which really made me look like the 'party pooper' of the group. It was uncomfortable for me and I received some spoken and unspoken criticism -- even from dear friends -- because of my choice. It was a choice to purposely step OFF the merry go round. I don't regret it.

I can assure you that homeschoolers are not immune to the pressures put on parents within our society to "do it all". It's pathetic actually. In fact, I think that perhaps homeschoolers might even 'take the cake' when it comes to DOING IT ALL because of the underlying insecurities which we often feel ... this sense we either receive from skeptics or the strong will we hold deep within which makes us want to PROVE ourselves -- to our families, our friends, our husbands, our children, and our culture. Burn out is typically the end result of living like this and, sadly, too often mothers with hearts filled with conviction eventually let it go because their bodies and emotions can no longer take the stress.

If this is you, I encourage you to STEP OFF the merry go round you are on. Experience stillness. Live in reflection, if only for a moment. I know it isn't easy. Most often when I do this, I experience a short spell of "what do I do with myself??" frantic emotions. Often I find the need to keep going and my mind plays tricks on me. I literally feel that I'm running alongside the merry go round for a while because I don't remember what to do with myself once I'm off! I hope you're picturing this in your mind because it is quite humorous but also a very real analogy in my own personal life.

We all need to find this balance for ourselves. Be leery of stepping off one merry go round only to get on another. Take time to readjust. Allow yourself some long reflective walks. Spend time with your children or your husband that doesn't involve a clock or an appointment to get to or an obligation to fill. Set aside moments for joy, for fun, for reflection, for prayer. Reconnect with parts of yourself that you've let go of. Take a bike ride, go see a movie (if you can find one worth viewing!), spend an afternoon at the park. Write letters. Read a book. Clean a closet (okay, that one is for me) : )

To live in balance means that we must live lighter at times in order to balance out the heavier moments which life inevitably brings. Yes, it is the road less traveled, but who cares? If God is leading you ... answer with obedience. Don't fret -- He'll straighten out the wrinkles it might cause. Your health, your family, your homeschooling, and your walk with God will all be enriched by the moments of peace that living in balance will bring.